Monday, January 26, 2009

Love Affairs

I participate in love affairs.
Not that kind you sickos...get your stinkin' minds out of the gutter!

I have a love affair with books. I am not a book snob, I love all kinds.
I have a love affair with ice cream. I admit that I am an ice cream snob. I don't care for the cheapy brands, and while I know that many no-name brands are just as good as the real things, this does not hold true in the ice cream department.
I have a love affair with music. As with books, I am no music snob. All kinds make me happy, and feed my soul.

Let me tell you what I do NOT have a love affair with...exercise.
It is my constant nemesis, the albatross around my chubby neck!

The last time I had a love affair with exercise was somewhere back around 1996-1997ish. I was teaching 5th grade. After school, Rogers, Patterson and I would walk. Somedays, I would do the "fast walk" and we would laugh so hard it took our breath away. Just the thought of those days makes me smile. In some ways I had never felt better. Seems strange, considering that time in my life was fraught with torment due to the loss of my daughter.

I want to regain that love of exercise. I have tried, but it isn't the same. Mostly because doing the "fast walk" isn't funny without Rogers and Patterson. I just look foolish and scare all the people driving past me. Suffice it to say, I've "lost that lovin' feeling".

I need to exercise. I need to do if for health reasons....heart health and mental health. I need to work out in order to work off my love affair with ice cream. I loathe the process. Getting the kids situated....it takes an act of Congress to get out the door. And why, WHY, do the makers of workout bras torment me so?? I have spent hours upon depressing hours trying to find a sports bra that fits a woman like myself. It doesn't seem fair that just because I am curvy up top, I should have to endure a uniboob when I work out!

Next come the nonsensical thoughts, that even I don't understand:
-If I lose the 17 pounds that haunt me, that simply puts me back to a former weight...one that was never good enough when I weighed it. Do you understand? My current goal is a weight that a few years ago wasn't acceptable to me. So really, why bother?
-I have a slew of things I am committed to doing, do I really want to add one more?
-Once I start working out, I have to do it forever, do you realize what a long time that is?!? Forever is perfect if you have renewed your love affair. But if not, you are plain out of luck, aren't you?

I know I have to suck it up, just take that first step. I understand I will feel so much better. I "get it"...all of the benefits and perks. My question is not about the payoff. I understand that anything I work hard to achieve will make me feel all warm and fuzzy. My question is how to ignite the passion. Especially when I despise the very thing I must learn to love. You see, I am an all or nothing person. I won't invest in things that I don't care for or about.

And Rogers, if you're reading this, leave a comment already!

17 comments:

La Yen said...

Two things that will change your life:

1. Fleur de Sel ice cream from Hagen Daaz

2. Title 9 Sports--the greatest sports bras in the world.

You are welcome.

emily said...

okay, several things to discuss today:
1. i didn't know you were a teacher, how did i miss this? did you know i used to be a teacher, well, at least the kind that got paid;-) i taught 2nd and 3rd grade before having brennan!

2. i did my billy banks or is it blanks? tae bo advanced tap this morning from way back in high school and i totally kicked my but, but after a hot shower my lungs just felt sooooo good and i thought, i should do this more. i swim twice a week, but the sweat cardio thing just feels amazing. i'm going to remember that feeling in a few days when my muscles are still too sore to do anything...and then maybe do it to myself again;-)

3. i too have a love affair with books. right now i'm reading "the book thief." have you read it? slow the first 250 pgs., but i can't put it down for the last 250 pgs. where am i going with this? oh yes, so i've had an idea to start a book club on my blog. i list one book every OTHER month (b/c once a month just seems to scare most people), and everyone who wants to participate will have the two months to read the book. at the end of the two weeks i will post questions i had while reading, insights, things i liked, etc. and then people can answer the questions, share their insights, questions etc. in the comment section. what do you think? i am hoping to launch it on my blog feb. 1st! i will also be taking suggestions for books to read. hopefully you and sue will do it;-).

4.it is now time to go take 800ibu pro before i am unable to get up from this chair from my sore muscles. did i spell sore right?

love em

emily said...

ooo ooo ooo, i forgot! the sports bra i wear, i can't believe i almost forgot! it's from nordstrom, a little expensive, but it has underwire and fits us "curvy women" well. i have bought the same one since i started running back in college. i can't remember the name, how dumb is that?!, and it's in the washing machine currently, but i think they only sell one that goes up to my size, which currently is the biggest one they offer;-) i will try to get you the brand asap:-)

-clevergirl said...

Two words, Moose Tracks, you will never want to eat anything else.

KC Mom said...

I'm with ya...on all of the above. Only my love affair is with chocolate.
I hate working out. The whole process. And there are lies involved...like this one...after awhile you have so much energy and feel so much better...like when 6-12 weeks later??? Do you know how long that is? Not to mention...you can't just work out for 12 weeks, you'll never get the results you want and in order to maintain you have to work out for the rest of your life?
Oh....I could go on and on.

Carly said...

Stop getting in my brain!!! I thought every single one of those things this morning before dragging myself to work out, except I didn't have a clever name for the "uniboob," I just hated it. Working out sucks, being fat sucks, but I enjoy the process of getting fat more, so maybe I'll just stick with that.

Rachel T. said...

LOL I had to stop myself from laughing out loud at the uniboob comment. (I am at work and I want my boss to think im being productive!) I agree its impossible to find a sports bra without getting that as a side effect, and I am agreeance I have just decided that I will never be one of those people that loves to work out. I have tried, it just isn't happening.

mom said...

Did I really just hear you make reference to any part of you as "chubby?" I did NOT hear that, did I!?!?!? I better NOT have heard that! I am not sure what else you said, b/c that one sentence threw me into convulsions!

Now, for the exercise part...do it b/c you know it is good for you, just like brushing and flossing! Save the gums, save the teeth, save the thighs!!!! :)

Snarkettes, she is lying to you...not about the love affairs. Those, she spoke of, are real and sordid. It is truly scandalous how much she and I both would prefer reading to most any other pleasure. But, the "chubby" and the "haunting 17 lbs"...well, can I just say that I could use both legs of a pair of Natalie's teeny tiny jeans as a freakin' sock for one of my legs!

However, you did make me laugh...I love the "UNIBOOB" (too great!) and I love the whole description of your infamous relationship with exercise.

But seriously, as far as your self imposed body imaging goes...you really are the Biggest Loser! :) :)

Gotta run... literally...

Sue said...

Well, you've read my blog about walking...I still haven't figured out how to LIKE it yet, though. Let me know if you come up with that, okay?

As for the uni-boob, I sort of have that already with my regular bra. Seriously. A sports bra is simply out of the question for me...

=)

Browns said...

You have to try Blue Bunny ice Cream. Not Blue Bell! Try it and let me know what you think. May I suggest Bunny Tracks, or Super Fudge Brownie. It's feakin' awesome!!

emily said...

it's a donna karen bra! seriously, best sports bra you will ever buy. soooooo worth the money. just say N-O to the uniboob! donna karen let's you keep the two you were born with;-) boosts, supports, holds in place.

Shauna said...

You need to find a class with a fun really cute but not too cute because you will spend the entire class thinking of ways to fatten her up and poke her eyes our...an instructor that makes you laugh, she will attract fun people to the class. Before you know it you will want to go just to laugh have fun and you won't even no your sweating. ( I am referring to me of course and my classes, but I am sure there are others out there...seriously there is something magical that happens when you find a good class and a good instructor) exercising alone is boring and the time goes by so slow.

L said...

So my first thought was "you are friends with Shauna so talk to her"!

My next was..you are snarky, you aren't a "sugar coaty kinda gal" - and yes I used sugar coaty on purpose - so just get off your bum and do it already! Said with love of course...

Finally, my thought was - uh oh, snarky mom isn't going to like what she is reading...you are in trouble...

Then I read shauna's comment and your moms...and I laughed!

Tae Bo works for me because I love it. Find what you LOVE...then see comment #2...

:-)

Angie Rogers said...

OK, here I am! I try to read every night before I go to bed. Maybe you will talk to me this way. I have tried calling, texting, facebook, and nothing. So since you mentioned me in your blog here I am. You know how I feel about exercise. I am still trying to keep in shape even after the hip surgery. We had some great laughs with you speed walking down the halls and making me wet my pants. Oh how i wish you were teaching with me right now. U were so awesome and I miss and love ya to pieces. Did you tell your mom I said, Happy Birthday and that she is just beautiful ! You know I think you are so beautiful too as well as those precious kids. :)

Angie Rogers said...

Oh, and another thing! If you have enough time to write these long wonderful articles you have time to workout Ms. Belle. I don't remember the Snarky side back in the day. Well, only once! :-) LOL You know I love you!

Natalie said...

Rogers, don't make me look bad.
If I recall correctly, last time we chatted you had to go in to a sporting event, and were going to call me right back. Wow, now that was one long game!

Ok,just kidding and you know it. I should have called you back...for all I know, you could have been trapped there. :)
I miss you!!!!!!

Bonnie said...

I LOVE icecream too!! That's my weakness, and wouldn't you know--my in-laws gave us an icecream maker for Christmas with 3 icecream recipe books. I've already made 6 batches, but I just recently learned how to make frozen yogurt, and I am obsessed with that now! It's so good and purty healthy, too!!