Monday, June 21, 2010

Good Things to Come

Sunday, June 20, 2010

One Day

To: Daddy
From: Chloe

I walk through the memoir aisle of the local bookstore and chuckle.
I think to myself, "If you only knew."

Everybody has a story. Bottom line, there are countless numbers of us who could
write a memoir powerful enough to knock readers' socks off.
Everybody has a story.

If I knew the right people, moved in their circles, and had a fantastic editor?
Ohhh, the story I could tell.
And one day, I will. When the time is right.
Most likely, it will never go further than this little spot right here.
And maybe you will be the only person reading.
I'll be just fine with that.

For now, I leave you with this:
I love my Snarky Dad; although, there isn't much that's snarky about him. That side only shows itself when he's joking around, teasing us. He teaches and leads by quiet example. He is kind and gentle, a shining example of putting others before self. I love and adore him. Some of the things I love most about myself are things he taught me. He traded in every single one of his dreams. For me. You would be in awe if I told you. I'm 38 years old, I lived it....and I'm still amazed. 

I love the man who let Snarky Dad give me a new life and raise me....the reasons why don't matter. I choose to believe it was all for the sake of love. Things feel better that way. I am grateful for the precious great-grandparents, grandparents, aunt, and cousins I have because of him. I cherish those relationships. And I'm grateful for what we have now. I see things in myself that are absolutely him. Time and an open heart have shown me how to embrace every one of them. I love him.

When I was a child, the adults in my life were young, entirely too young. Huge decisions were made on my behalf. Twists, turns, and train wrecks too numerous to count. But I never doubted that I was every person involved. I was angry, confused, and sad at times. But, I was happy too. I knew all of these people would fight to the death for me, if it came down to it. And I've made peace with their decisions. Realized I have nothing to feel guilty about, especially the fact that I love them all. I have a big heart, and everybody's welcome. Whew, it was a long and bumpy road getting here. So glad I made it. I think it's all turned out remarkably well.

I love my husband, the father of my 4 beautiful children. I've been trying. Really trying. No words can describe it. Today, there are no words great enough to capture what my heart feels for him. I can only pray he knows.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Who Wants Mac & Cheese?

Quite possibly my favorite commercial. Ever.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Just Tell the Truth

I don't think there's much of anything left in this world that's truly "Fair and Balanced". I'm not naturally prone to trusting others. I have to consciously fight my inclination toward cynicism. I don't trust any media outlets, I don't believe we have reporters and journalists anymore. We have people propelled by an unquenchable thirst for "the next big story". CNN twists, FOX spins, ABC, NBC, and CBS cherry pick "reports" based on what agenda they support.

I don't want to contribute to the lack of fairness and balance in this world. Mostly I share opinions here in my spot. But today, I have to share a fact: President Barack Obama is not the first president to be somewhere other than Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day. This falsehood is all over the web, and being fueled by conservatives (either directly or simply by choosing not to diffuse the rumor). Here I could list the places past Presidents have spent Memorial Days, the different places they have gone to honor fallen soldiers. But, the teacher in me won't let me do it. (Similar to how I struggle with telling children how to spell a's better for them to look it up themselves.)

Am I a fan of President Obama? Nope.
But you know I'm not a fan of any politician. Not one.
I'm not a fan of distorting facts to support opinions either. That mentality does nothing to improve the caustic tone running rampant in our country. Honesty really is the best policy. And there is far to little of that policy practiced today.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

A New Perspective

You may be surprised to learn that many of my cares and concerns, regarding this world of ours, are now Gone with the Wind. Recent events between Israel and the Gaza-bound flotilla, my husband's return to Iraq, and my acceptance of the disappointing reality that I, in fact, can not change the world brought on the winds of change.

I'm absolutely uninterested in any debates regarding Israel, Turkey, and Palestine. Actually, I'm uninterested in debating period. Mainly I just wanted to share how Turkey's Prime Minister played a tremendous role in my new perspective. He said this: "Psychologically this attack is like 9/11 for Turkey because Turkish citizens were attacked by a state, not by terrorists, with an intention, a clear decision of political leaders of that state."

Holy crap, what drug is he high on? First of all, his statement simply doesn't make any sense. Secondly, it speaks volumes as to just how blind a large part of the world chooses to be regarding the horrors of 9/11; how very little they care. Nine civilians were killed in this flotilla incident. Thousands of lives were taken on 9/11. Not to mention the far-reaching effects still felt to this day, almost nine years later. I'm not insinuating the nine lives lost are less important than any other life lost. But logically, the numbers nine and 2,973 are far from comparable. I'm sorry Mr. Prime Minister. The 9/11 attacks were planned for months, took place on our soil, involved four jets, and targeted innocent civilians. There is no similarity with your situation, that took place in international waters, between one ship (the other 5 had no incidents) and Israel. You say they attacked, they say they were acting in self-defense. There are many sides to the story. There is only side to 9/11. On that day, innocent Americans were simply going about their daily lives. Without provocation, our entire country was attacked and terrorized. The entire country of Turkey has not been attacked. Nothing about your current situation is, as you said, "like 9/11". Your statement is both absurd and screaming with ignorance. Proof that you have no idea how horrific 9/11 was, and you don't care either.

The remainder of my new perspective comes from the pain felt as I sit, once again, without my husband in this home. Where he belongs. I really wish I could be more noble, more patriotic. I don't know how to give any more than I am currently giving. I don't know how to love this country any more than I do. You know I'm nothing, if not honest. And I'm ready to be completely honest. I hate where he is, I hate that he has been sent there. I hate that the Commander-in-Chief doesn't care more. I hate every bit of it. And, I'm sorry it took a deployment to move me to this perspective. I understand this is what we signed up for, I just wish it made more sense. I can't give details or explanations, but trust me. So much of it makes no sense.
None. Whatsoever.

I'm pretty certain many of you will strongly disagree with my thoughts, but here goes. I want our country to take care of our own now. It's time. True, there are starving women and children in third world countries, but you can find starving people in your own town too. You can find homeless, downtrodden, desperate, exploited, and abused human beings in your city. For years I've imagined ways I can get myself to the war-torn Congo. I've imagined all the good I could do, all the children I could "save". Now I've decided I'll try to help here, in my small, insignificant Georgia town. I can't save the Congo and neither can you.

I've grown beyond weary of this country suffering because we have some Superman complex pushing us to get involved and "help" everyone else. Have you noticed this rarely gets us anywhere and garners little more than harsh criticism? Here I will add that yes, my husband has been greeted by grateful Iraqis. Of course it's heartwarming and touching. Yes, they can vote and attend school now. Some amazing things have happened there, but at what cost to our own country? At what cost to our fellow Americans?

I guess I'm realizing this great country of ours is a lot like parents enabling their drug-addicted children. There comes a time when you've done all you can do! A time when you just have to step back, let people make their choices, and suffer the consequences. We need to take care of the poor, hungry, abused, exploited, hopeless and helpless here in our country. My church gives tremendous amounts of global humanitarian aid. I love and support those efforts. But I've noticed, that aid is never given in a way that comes back to harm the church or its members. It is in no way an enabling parent. I want to help others. I don't support standing idly by as people suffer. But it's time for America to seriously reevaluate. Much of what we're doing really isn't working. I'm tired of this country harming itself, and its people, all in the name of helping others.

If you know me, you know I'm wholeheartedly in favor of protecting our country, defending this nation and preserving our liberty. That protection, defense and liberty should start right here, on our own soil. We can't save the world. We can't make nations agree to disagree, or choose to live peacefully. They've been fighting since time began, and they will continue in their attempts to destroy each other until time ends. I would just like to get our own country back on track, financially stable, with secure borders so we can protect ourselves. I would like to make certain America's children are well cared for, well educated, and protected before we set out to make life better for everyone else (something rarely appreciated because maybe they don't even want things to change)...leaving America behind in the process.

I'm not so naive anymore. And to the rest of the world I feel like saying...go ahead, fight, feud, disagree, whatever. But leave me out of it.
Because I'm beginning to feel a lot like Rhett!
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

And I'm also feeling a lot like Scarlett.
"I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy."
"I'll think about that tomorrow."
Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I'm leaning toward the won't.