I woke up this morning thinking maybe I should take away the participation prizes. You worked for it. You earned it. But maybe someone else should have it. You know, someone who didn't show up, didn't do the work, had lots of reasons why she couldn't do the work. Maybe she should get the prize. Why? Well because, you already have tshirts and goodies. And really, have you noticed....many people in our country, and in this world, they don't like you. Yes, I know it's all based on assumptions that are mostly unfounded. I was thinking that if we just give them what you have earned, maybe they won't be so bitter and angry. What? No, no, I tried that. They don't want to work. Well yes, they are capable. But, I can't make them show up and earn something. Listen, just trust me, it's easier this way.
I know you worked for every bit of it. Yes, I hear you. I understand that you were hoping to share your goodies with your children and family. No, I am not sure how you will have enough for your own family once I take what you have earned from you. No, I can't really answer your questions. No, I don't have to either. I am taking your prize. I will be giving it to someone who should have and could have participated. Now stop whining and get back to work, so you can support her. Me? Of course I'm working. You can find me in that big building up on the hill. Well, unless I decide I need a break, or it's time for bed, or that I need a few weeks off. You can't imagine how hard it is to be me.
Ha! Just kidding friends! Of course I would never take away your participation prizes. I just couldn't resist having some fun. Especially since the "everyone's a winner" had you wondering if I might possibly be a closet Democrack, or that I had fallen victim to the Obama lover syndrome.
Filthy. Filthy talk I say. You know better. And just for clarification...I do not let my kids win at games. I am more than happy to whip their bahookees and do a victory dance. In fact, I think it's time for me to dominate Princie at Littlest Pet Shop Go Fish.