Monday, December 29, 2008

Grains of Sand in My Swimsuit, Part 2

If you care to read Part 1, you will find it here.
Now for Part 2.....

1.) If you choose to pick your nose in public, really that's fine. Just don't be shocked when I look at you like the nasty germ spreader you are. K-L-E-E-N-E-X, say it with me now, Kleenex.

2.) I saw you knock two shirts off the rack when you were browsing. You know you did it too, that's why you looked around several times before walking away. Yep, I saw. Just pick up the blasted clothes! Can't you have even the slightest shred of respect for the store employee? She is not your maid. Who cares that she is getting paid to work, or that you think it's her job? You could show some kindness by cleaning up your own mess, you lazy snot!

3.) Do you think your fellow drivers are just ignorant? We know exactly what you are up to, and just a little fyi: No, the universe does not revolve around you getting where you need to be. You see the "Lane Ends, Merge Left" sign, so just merge already! Don't speed past the rest of us, butt in, then pretend you had no idea that FLASHING NEON sign was there!

4.) It's all the rage this season....movie rage. I am normally not a fan of raging, but this really interests me. A guy got a cap popped in his arm because, after repeatedly being asked to quiet down in a movie, he just could not shut his trap. A lady inconsiderately yaps away on her cell phone in the middle of a movie. Neighboring movie-goer jabs loudmouth with a nail file.
While I hope to avoid taking my theater experiences quite so seriously, I understand. I'm just sayin' I feel the pain of polite, courteous, common sense people. (This is the part where you question my sanity and morals. Could I seriously believe a cap-popper and nailfile-jabber to be decent people? You bet! And decent people of the world can only take so much.) If I pay nine bucks to enjoy a movie in the theater, I fully expect you to keep your lips zipped and turn your phone OFF. You can go into the foyer or restroom to run your mouth. Last time I checked, the movies weren't playing in either of those venues. So hang there for a while, at least until you get the chatty out of your system and can follow movie etiquette.

5.) I guess I've grown weary of those suffering from social ineptitude. They unfailingly damper the good times of those who know how to behave. I am unsure why it is socially acceptable to be rude, crude, and disrespectful. And woe be unto those who speak up for courtesy, kindness, and respect. How dare we violate the socially inconsiderate's right to be a total jackass? And has anyone else ever noticed it is usually the jackass whining and fussing about rights? I have the right to this, and I have the right to do that...blah, blah, blah, where is my nail file when I need it?

Wouldn't it be nice if people could simply respect others, be polite? And when I say people, I really mean adults. Oh well, if you choose not to behave, while I am no advocate of violence, I (like the loveable Roy O'Bannon) don't know karate, but I know ka-razy, and I will use it!

Ahhhhhh, how I love a sand free swimsuit! It just makes the world feel right.

7 comments:

KC Mom said...

Ahh...you must have been out in the post Christmas rush. Talk about rubbing you in all the wrong ways! People are practically shoving for deals.

mom said...

Agggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....I am so digging out the grains right now. Thanks...you said all the things I have been thinking the past few days, although you managed to leave out my rather unladylike adjectives and a few choice nouns!

Could I add one more....IF you HATE your job and I can understand why you might, standing behind a cash register, but IF you do....PLEASE get another one. Seriously, I am so sick and tired of grouchy pants people barking at me! Actually, you people don't know it, but I don't like you, either!
And it is not my fault you are a miserable, unhappy, unfulfilled loser....at least you have a freakin' job....there are a kazillion people out there who honestly cannot say that tomorrow morning. So get up, shut up, go to work and be NICE to the people who ensure that your job still is useful although you are not!

Thank you......oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

and to you few and far between really sweet people who actually smiled and treated me like a human form of skin, thank you...I do like you! :)

Rachel Taylor said...

I whole heartedly agree. There are so many people out there who truly do believe that the world revolves around them. That people are just out there to serve THEM and to make THEM happy. Its like seriously how hard is it to pick up after yourself and smile once in a while. Sure this "season" is stressful but its stressful on all of us. So why do people think they are the exception?

Valsy said...

So, sister, how you really feel about it? :)

shahna said...

movie talkers are my nemisis. i have no problem walking out and notifying management. i hav enever had a problem past that. they always take care of it. i am ever so motivated to address it now that movies are like $9 a pop! i need to go back and read part one now...

Sue said...

But wait! What about the moviegoers who bring small children and then just let them talk through the whole movie? They don't even try to get them to whisper! DRIVES ME CRAZY.

emily said...

okay, so i know you don't like oprah anymore, but did you see her episode on ethics? it was quite interesting. have you ever driven in utah? i'm pretty sure natives from here have decided that there are no other cars on the road other than them.