Sunday, December 14, 2008

There Are No Words

Once again: There are times in life when words are useless, they can be wastes of the very breath it takes to form them.

Friday night, the 17 year old daughter of dear friends was killed in an auto accident. As I spoke with her sweet father yesterday, all I could speak were the words, "We love you, we are so sorry." Now is not the time for telling them how blessed their family was to have Megan for 17 years..they already know, that is one reason for their intense sorrow. Now is not the time for repeating doctrine, for reminding them they will see her again...they already know, but that fact does not erase the pain that comes with knowing it will feel like forever before that time comes. And during that forever, during this new life they have been born into, it is going to rip their hearts into shreds over and over and over again.

I hate the phrase "Time heals all wounds." Let me tell you what I know, time heals nothing. Time leaves scabs and scars, it leaves ugly evidence on hearts and souls. But, our Savior, He heals. He heals all wounds. And because of His power, He leaves no scars behind. In place of the wound, our Savior leaves a larger capacity to love. He leaves greater knowledge of Himself, and undeniable evidence of charity. He leaves behind increased courage to make it through years, that at times (because you miss your loved one so deeply) feel like forever. He leaves hope.

I will not tell them these things now. It isn't the time. Right now, there are no words I can form, no words powerful enough to put even the slightest dent in their shock and pain. I know the only words to say to these people I love are: I am sorry, and I love you.

All other words are useless right now, unless being uttered to our Father in Heaven. I pray that our Savior will hold their fragile hearts in His palm until they are ready to begin the healing process. I pray they find strength to make it through the next few days without feeling literally exhausted. I pray they might feel their burdens being shared by all of us who love them. I pray all of these things on behalf of the two young men who were also in the car. Theirs is an unbelievably long road ahead, and I pray for their parents as well. Your prayers would also be greatly appreciated. I know the One who stands ready to heal, and He is listening.


KC Mom said...

I've cried until I can cry no more. This is why I haven't said anything other than I love you. What really can be said to give comfort. Right now the Lord's blessing of peace is all I can pray for. I love you too.

Valsy said...

When I read your work, it intimidates me because you are so damn good at it. However, it inspires me too to share my own voice. I wish you were here so could wrap ourselves in some chinese. Please come back to us, we "hot chicks" need you. It sucks, pardon the word Momma C, without you.

mom said...

I know so well a mother's love for her daughter....
I cannot imagine a mother's pain in losing her daughter, for even, as I have told you before, imagining such pain is so unbearable I will not allow myself to go there...I simply stop imagining. Today, your sweet friends do not have that luxury.

To your dear friends, I am so sorry for your pain....I love you because you love my daughter and that is enough for me to share her sorrow for your suffering.

To my dear are an amazing creature....I only wish that I could take some credit for your writing talent being somewhat "genetic." Be assured, however, those of us who read your words know that is simply not talent, it is a "gift" from God.

And yes, Valerie, it truly does "stink" without her. (pardon, granted). I have missed her on so many levels on so many days since December 29th, 1992, when she left for BYU. I need her every day and cannot imagine my life without her.

And to all of Natalie's dear and precious friends, who have been a part of her journey, whether in Texas, Missouri, or Maryland, you have become a part of my life through her stories about each of you....I guess one could say, the "fabrics of our lives" have become inextricably woven and for that I am grateful. To those of you who have been so intimately touched by this tragic loss of such a beautiful young girl, please know our hearts and prayers are for each of you.

Sue said...

I just got home from teaching a lesson on "Standing Fast Through the Storms of Life" only to check your blog and see this sad, sad news.

You'll be in my prayers, Natalie, both you and your friends who have sustained the kind of loss none of us even likes to think about. What a beautiful daughter; I can think of nothing more painful than what they are and will be going through. And I agree that, for now at least, there are no words to say other than to tell them you're sorry and that you love them.

And you know what? Because they have friends like you, and because they have the gospel, in the end that will be enough.

Many hugs to you.

Shauna said...

Natalie. I love you and miss you.

Kathy said...


Thank you for putting to words so beautifully my feelings and thoughts. You do encourage me with your writing. I remember your lessons in RS and how much I looked forward to your insights. You have inspired me in many ways over the years. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to meet you. We are so blessed to have the internet and to be able to keep in touch this way. Thank you.

Kari said...


I'm so sorry your dear friends are having to experience such a horrible loss. Our prayers are with and for all of you. Your comment about time leaving scabs and scars is so true. Without our Lord and Saviors amazing grace and love, those scabs and scars are left vulnerable to become festering wounds---infected with bitterness, hate and unforgiveness. Your friends will never be the same from their loss, but different is ok (I know you know what I mean). Even before their loss God was putting people in their lives to be the balm to the scars and scabs yet to form. Thank you for your wonderful minstry! I can't help but smile when I think about all the people touched by your written words! Much love,

Sue said...

Already posted earlier, but just wanted to add that I love having you visit my blog, too, and always look forward to your comments.

Kindred spirits, maybe?

Carly said...

You are so eloquent, even when words fail, yours always come as close as possible. Your friends our in my prayers.

Angie said...