Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I Think the Tunnel Might Actually Have an End

I feel a tantrum coming on. I miss Georgia already. I want to live there. NOW.
Not in July. Now I say, NOW. And yes, I am stomping my feet and slapping things around. Ok, I feel better. Glad to have gotten that out of my system.

So many exciting things are happening. I've got to learn how to manage "good stress" as opposed to the bad kind. I'm a pro at handling "bad stress". It's second nature to me. But the good kind makes me nervous. I keep waiting for that punch straight to the gut. Last night Snarky Mama told me to "stop borrowing trouble". She's right, as usual. It's just a strange phenomenon to me...hard work finally paying off, coming out of the tunnel after so many years of following the light at the end of it...you get my drift.

The Captain & I have been married for almost 16 years. We finished our undergrad schooling together. It was rather uneventful. And then, someone must have yelled "ACTION" because these are the major things that happened next, minus your day-to-day stresses (to get the full affect, read this list aloud without taking a breath): we moved to Dallas, The Captain went to Chiropractic school, we buried a child, I taught school, we had Eleven Year Old, we moved to Mississippi, we opened a Chiropractic/Wellness Center, we realized we were beyond naive (and that's putting it SO very mildly), I continued teaching, The Captain joined the Army, we had Seven Year Old after a difficult pregnancy, three days after my c-section The Captain left to start med school, two weeks after c-section the boys and I joined him in Kansas City, I started working from home, we had Princie, moved to El Paso for internship, I continue working from home, moved to Maryland to complete Residency at Walter Reed, more working from home, The Captain is working a ridiculous amount of hours, I start teaching preschool, new orders informing us of our upcoming move to Georgia, Residency will be over in June........

What? What's that I see? Am I finally seeing more light than tunnel? Ok, so I can breathe now? Is that what you're telling me? I like the sound of it, I really do. I'm just a little skeptical. I'm nervous. But, as of now, I'm going to try and focus on what's right in front of me. While all of the exciting things happening bring with them a level of stress, it's a good kind. And, I'm thankful for what's up ahead, at the end of the tunnel. (Even as I write this, a tiny voice in the back of my mind says: "But you don't really know what's up ahead, you better not get too excited?") Ughhh, what is my problem?!? Am I greatly lacking in faith? I don't want to think so, but maybe that's just exactly what my problem is.


In order to follow that advice, I won't be around much this week. I have GOT to start working out, and I tend to blog in place of exercise. This week, I will be getting myself on a routine. I'll be clearing my head, and making decisions. Then, I'll be ready to roll in this spot again. For now, I leave you with some of the many things running around in my head:
  • buying a house
  • Princie beginning OT
  • my upcoming blog makeover (YIPPEE!)
  • my business idea
  • The Captain told me it's highly possible he could be deployed six months after we move to Georgia
  • choosing the best neighborhood for our kids
  • Eleven Year Old beginning middle school in the fall
  • Princie going to Kindergarten in the fall
  • Seven Year Old will be baptized in August...am I doing enough to get him ready for such an experience...probably not
  • the letter I'm writing to the head of the Southern Baptist Convention
  • my tribute to some lovely ladies (way past due)
  • my essay on the "Princess Mentality"
  • the mountain of laundry waiting for me upstairs
  • the fact that I would rather dig a ditch than work out
  • responding to the Sisterhood Award
  • why do people care what kind of dog the First Kids have
  • why do left-wingers, and the media, enjoy perpetuating class warfare
  • why do I like food so much
Ok, I'm just going to stop now. It's official. I'm a whackjob.


Lanie said...

Yay for the light! You have such a positive attitude despite the struggles your family has endured over the years. That is why I love to read your blog. Such an inspiration!

Fiauna said...

I so happy that residency is over. I feel such gratitude for my doctors and their wives. I don't know how you do it--all of those years of school, internship, residency.

Good luck with the list. Will you let us read your letter to the head of the Southern Baptist Convention?

Kristina P. said...

Lots of fun things in store for you.

Can't wait to see the bloggy makeover!

jen said...

Ah, Snarky B. How I've missed you!

DawnS said...

Wow, you can see light through that list??? LOL!!!! Anyway, I wanted to say "Welcome back to the south y'all!" well soon anyway - and you will be just in time for the heat!!! :)

Shauna said...

I remember telling you in Kansas City that it would all be worth it eventually...well eventually is just around the corner. The sacrifices you all have made will hopefully start to pay off. Enjoy it!!! you deserve all of what is to come. One of my favorite sayings is, "you have to taste the bitter to enjoy the sweet!"

Carly said...

You are not a whackjob, you are a woman. Freaking out about things going well is what we do best, next to freaking out about things that are actually going badly. I totally get it.

McAtee Family said...

I am right there with you - even though Mike and I have reached a good place in our life, I keep waiting for something to rush in and take away the good. Why do we do that to ourselves? Mike always tells me that I need to concentrate on the here and now and enjoy it - and while I am enjoying it, I keep thinking that perhaps it is to good to be true. Perhaps I just need the stress to survive : )

Good luck with your list and coming out of the tunnel - I can't wait to hear all about it as it unfolds!

Sue said...

All I can say is, GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK!

And your mom is right...stop borrowing trouble. It'll come around sooner or later anyway, as it always does, so enjoy every Kings "X" that comes your way!

I'm excited that you are so excited about Georgia. July is just a hop, skip and a jump away!

I, too, am trying to get a regular exercise schedule going. It's like pulling teeth to get past the 3-day mark. Same with my food consumption. *sigh* (Which Easter did NOT help.)

Glad the end of residency is around the corner but sorry to hear that deployment could come so soon. That's a tough one, but you'll handle it. And you'll be in Georgia!

Hope OT goes well for Princie (I'm sure it will), and if it makes you feel any better, I don't care one whit about what kind of dog the Obamas have.


K2cole said...

We are sister souls when it comes to excercise - I hate it! However I feel the age coming and want to be able to move freely soooo... dread.

As for the move - how fun! New place, new house and all of those opportunites (sp) to change things up. Stop worrying - what actually happens when things go wrong? You handle it, you know you can - I know you can.

Take a deep breath and enjoy!

Congrats to the Capt on finishing all that schooling and residency, what an amazing accomplishment!


KC Mom said...

I'm so excited for you. I don't know why it is our human nature to distrust the good that comes our way but I do know...that the light does come. And when it does, it's usually so wonderful that we hardly dare to be excited because surely it's too good to be true. Well for now...it's good and it's true!! Enjoy! And if you figure out how to motivate yourself to excerise, let me know.

Esther said...

Its nice to know someone is as wacky as me. Your Mom said that I would like you when I met you, maybe its because we are kindred spirits. Its refreshing to read that someone else thinks the way I do.

karen said...

I'm excited for all the new adventures you have coming your way! My son-in-law is just finishing his 2nd year of med school...don't think he sees that light yet. But back to you: if you weren't worried about something, you'd be dead. That's just human nature. Keep your head down, do your best, and keep trudging along. You'll be through all of this before you know it, and there will be new things to fret over! But lots and lots of beautiful experiences and people along the way to keep in your heart as well. Life is hard, but it's also very sweet. Good luck with the list - I'm looking forward to hearing all your thoughts. What? - you're not into the Presidential Dog?? *EVIL GRIN*

Gretchen said...

OMG. Yes, you do have a LOT going on. And, I'm with you on the working out! I have been a bit out of touch (re: blog world) and am sorry I haven't been able to comment much. I'm so excited about the light at the other side of your tunnel -- that sounds great! And I hope you are able to continue to feel (positive) nervous excitement about all of it. I hope Princie is doing well and that you are getting a good handle on what will work best for her and family. Hang in there and I'll look forward to your next post in a week or so...

Lorie said...

A lot going on! No wonder you are stessed. Exercise will help, but it hasn't made me stop loving food! ;D

Let me know if you find a cure for that!

SnarkyMama said...

I am dragging myself out of my "Snarky Belle withdrawal" mode..

Geez Louise, you just left us hangin'...seriously....although I appreciate your "plight" of "life overload"...in case no one has told you there are those of us whose life pretty much revolves around the next Snarky post...sad and pathetic as that may be...it remains truth!

"To ever things there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted...and also that every man (woman..God is an equal opportunity kind of guy)...should enjoy the good of all his labour..it is the gift of God."

So, with that said...NO, that light at the end of this tunnel IS NOT a train...RELAX.....Breathe...you planted..."plucking season" has begun!

A. You will buy your fabulous dream house...
B. Princie will be the "superstar " of OT
C. We all anxiously await the "makeover" you know me...I love the whole "makeover" scenario!
D. The "business"...clean cut success from day one!
E. The Captain...will be fine, here or there and so will all of you...I know that. If it should happen, it will be "but for a moment" in time.
F. Neighborhood..your "formula" for picking those has never failed you...not going to now.
G. 11 year old...I can hear it now..."OH MY GOSH, have you seen the new boy..he is so freakin' cute, I think I might die!" New Kid on the Block will Rock!
H. 7 year old...that boy came into this world prepared for most everything...the twinkle in his eyes and the smile on his face tell you his little spirit is so close to Heavenly Father...he just "gets life."
I. Ladies' tribute...who would possible care if its "overdue"...heck somebody writes a tribute to me, I'm flattered...I don't care when they get around to it..just get around to it!
J. Laundry...don't worry it won't go anywhere...trust me!
K. I don't give one tiny little rat's #@* about what dog lives in the White House....(this one could go on, but I shall refrain). I am just sorry they could not find a dog who needed to be "rescued." I guess all the shelters and rescue leagues were empty...must have been the mad Easter "dog" rush...
L. Class warfare....somebody has to keep it going...I mean, really, crummy job, but somebody's gotta do it...who better than those with the most experience.
M. I don't know why you love food...guess b/c most of what you love is just too dang good to quit!

Well, there you go.....problems solved...don't keep us waiting too long! My "withdrawal" straight jacket is simply not attractive!

I love you.....my soon to be Georgia Peach!

SnarkyMama said...

Oh and my most important one...Southern Baptist Convention...(picture Princie)"DO WHAAAAAT?" I'm with Fiauna...please let us all read that one!

Laretha said...

The light! The light! Look directly into the light!

I am so happy for you!

Princie will be the superstar of OT, just like mama said.


Rachel T. said...

Wow I can only imagine what it would be like to be in your head. I thought things were swimming around in my head, but wow. That is tons to think about. Half that is too much! Good luck, we shall miss you, and you don't need to work out Nat. You are beautiful!

Alanna said...

Natalie I would LOVE to know what you are writing to the head of the Southern Baptist Convention. And the" light at the end of the tunnel" I got so tired of hearing that while we were in a decade of schooling. Thing is, even when you are out of school there are always new obstacles to overcome. Certain things do get easier but then new issues arrive. I agree with Mike McAtee, concentrate of the here and now and enjoy what you have now. I know all about fretting about the future and the "what ifs" but they'll just make you crazy. BTW, I don't know if this helps but with my two oldest girls I had the missionaries teach them all of the discussions before they were baptized. It's always refreshing for them to get a different perspective (other than mom or dad's). You'll be surprised at what he knows and doesn't know. It'll be a great experience for him.

Valsy said...

Make sure that new house has a guest room for me.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Can I move to Georgia with you? It sounds wonderful.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Oh, and I think I missed why you're writing a letter to the head of the Southern Baptist Convention.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Sorry for the snippets of comments. But, do you know to where he'd be deployed (I almost said detained)? I think I once told you that a friend was deployed to Walter Reed. Now, wouldn't that be ironic?

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Praying for you and your sweet family as you embark on this next chapter (adventure!) of your lives.