Saturday, August 8, 2009

Christopher

Today my little friend passed away. When death rears its ugly head, I'm quickly reminded of just how selfish I can be. He is okay now. I know it. He's no longer in pain, no longer suffering. And for that, I am grateful. But, I'm devastated. I'm hurt and disappointed. My heart breaks for all of us who are left behind, who no longer have the pleasure of being graced by his presence on this Earth. I do not worry and fret over what happens after this life. I am not afraid of death. I'm afraid of the pain it leaves in its wake...the feeling that your chest has been ripped open and your heart shredded.

And most importantly, what about his parents and two sisters? I feel physically ill as I think of the days that await them. I don't even have words for the aching I feel for them.

Do you think maybe my Victoria was one of many awaiting this precious little guy's return? Is it possible that they could share a hug, and know of my love for them? I believe so.

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not a mark of weakness,
but of power.
They speak more eloquently
than 10,000 tongues.
They are the messengers
of overwhelming grief,
of deep contrition,
and of unspeakable love.

-Washington Irving

23 comments:

KC Mom said...

I'm so sorry but grateful they have you to share in their grief. You have had great experience to help you prepare for this. I'm just so sorry.

Amy said...

I'm so sorry Natalie. My heart literally aches for you and for his family, their heartache will be acute. Life is so hard.

Sue said...

This is terribly sad news to hear. I know your friendship will be a comfort to them. But you're right; the family has some hard days ahead.

I will keep them in my prayers. And you, of course.

jen said...

So sorry to hear that. Life just really presents hard lessons. Hopefully we take the opportunity to learn.

Barbara said...

I'm so sorry Natalie.

Sending you love.

xxx

Lori said...

I feel their pain, and yet I am grateful that they have you to help them through their dark days ahead. All of them and you are in my prayers. We love you.inge

Hunter Bug said...

Oh Natalie.. I am so sorry. I feel deep sorry for your loss and the loss of this family. It's a painful experience.. You will be mentioned in my prayers often. <3

Carly said...

I am so very sorry. I will keep this family in my prayers too, and echo the feelings of others--they are lucky to have a friend in their corner can offer a unique perspective and helping hand at this horrible time. No one can emphasize quite like you on a lot of tough issues!

SnarkyMama said...

I, too, am just so sorry...how incredibly hard that must be. You know me, I won't let myself think too long about it...that is what makes it even harder, his family cannot "choose" to "not think about it."

Reminds me why we are to "mourn together." I pray somehow the thoughts and the prayers will help heal their broken hearts and yours.

I love you.

Shauna said...

What a unimaginable loss! I am at a loss for words, I do know that I will hold mine a little tighter today. All my love...Shauna

caitsmom said...

I am so sorry. That another family has begun this most difficult journey breaks my heart.

Gretchen said...

Oh Natalie - I'm so sorry for this family and for you. I ache for the mother and father and sisters who will have to carry on without him. I am so hopeful that Victoria was there to welcome him. That Washington Irving quote is one of the best - thanks for reminding us of the sacredness in tears.

MammaWarrior said...

Awww this is so sad and a relief all at the same time! ((hugs))

Fiauna said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and that of his family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

karen said...

So sorry, Natalie. How fortunate you were to have known him for the short time he was here. I'll remember you and his family in my prayers.

Karen said...

I am so sorry for this family and for your broken heart too. I am sure that your sweet daughter is welcoming him. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Em said...

Natalie, I'm so very sorry for your and your friend's loss. My top question for the powers that be when I reach (?) Heaven - children are so innocent, please explain why.

Krystyn said...

I'm sorry for their loss and yours. I can't even begin to imagine.

And, yes, I totally believe that your sweet daughter is there to greet him as are many other loving arms.

em said...

:-(

Laretha said...

between your post and cheryls i am a sobbing mess.

i'm so sorry for your loss. children should never go before their parents.

love you,
l

Valsy said...

Sorry Lovey

-clevergirl said...

I'm so sorry Natalie. I am just so sorry. **HUG**

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Oh...I am so sorry, dear friend...praying for you and for his family...