Snarky Mama: EXPOSED!

Snarky Mama and I don't always agree. Are you shocked? It happens. There are times when you'd think the two of us come from entirely different universes. In fact, we've had heated conversations about a lot of things that really matter. Things like why I believe she should live on more than just water, Diet Coke and a few slices of bacon (yes TuTu's Bliss, you and Snarky Mama are both lovers of the bacon). We also really get into it when it comes to her undying loyalty to people who, quite frankly, treat her like crap more often than not. That's for another day. And, we don't always agree on religion even though we belong to the same church.

Today, I'm going to share something big...I mean really big. A difference of opinion that could shake the very core of our relationship. American Idol. I'm okay with the outcome. Snarky Mama? Well, not so much.

From the beginning, my mom was as Adam Lambert fan. In the beginning, I was indifferent. But as time went on, the guy grew on me. He grew on me because I truly appreciate art as well as outstanding performers. Adam Lambert is by far the most amazing "artist" to ever step foot on the American Idol stage. I get it. But, I still wasn't a fan. (To tell you the truth, nobody this season really won me over, no one made me want to vote....not like Chris Daughtry did....oh Daughtry, those were the good 'ol days. The days when I would dial until my finger was numb.) I appreciate art, but that doesn't mean I'm drawn to all kinds.

Ok, back to this season. I liked Matt Giraud. Snarky Mama really couldn't stand the guy. She mentioned a mole or something ridiculous like that, I don't know...but good grief woman, how shallow can you be? Week after week she went on and on about this Lambert kid. She even resorted to incessantly emailing Eleven Year Old, in an effort to brainwash him. Bad, bad Nana.

Like I said, I know Adam Lambert is a gifted artist. The guy is an unbelievable performer. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him. But, I don't care for the scream, and I'm not in love with falsetto. Also, I don't like eyeliner on guys guyliner (even when my beloved Daughtry wears it, I don't like it). I find it distracting. It's just not my thing. Moles aren't really my thing either, but I (unlike Snarky Mama) am not shallow. Not liking someone because of a mole=shallow. Finding guyliner distracting=a simple observation.

But forget the cosmetics of it all, I actually prefer the voice of Matt Giraud (except for when he used his falsetto too much, and not very well). But, he sings and that's what American Idol is about. I know Adam Lambert is a fantastic performer, I just don't think his voice is as great as his stage skills are. And let's face it, when I play a song on my iPod, I'm not seeing the performance. It's all about how the notes hit my ears. And I prefer notes to be sung, not screamed at me. But Snarky Mama? Well, she's ALWAYS going to go with whoever has the best stage presence, outfits, hair, nails, and makeup...regardless of the talent. Ughhh, how can a person be so superficial? Especially my own mother! I thought I taught her better. This hurts, it really hurts.

I can only think of one way to help my mother. Today the truth must be revealed. Today, I expose the basis of my mother's Lambert obsession. It all boils down to one word: CHER. That's right, Snarky Mama loves Adam Lambert not for who he is, but for who she thinks he can become. You see, my mother's world will be rocked (and not in the good way) when Cher leaves this earth. Before this season of AI, if my mother had outlived Cher, it wouldn't have been pretty. But now she can sleep peacefully. Never fear because she's found Adam Lambert! I don't know if this means Cher is manly or Lambert is womanly, and I don't really care either. (But if you think about it, they are oddly similar. Really, go ahead. Think about it...because what else do you have to think about? This stuff matters people!)

Your dirty little secret is out Snarky Mama. You don't care about Adam. Stop masquerading as some lover of Adam Lambert. You don't love him for who he is. You love him for who you want him to become. You are a sad, sick little woman and I hope you get the help you need.

P. freakin S.
Oh I can't stand it when I have to come back and explain myself with a p.s. Since this post, and since Snarky Mama's scathing comment, she and I have talked. FOR THE RECORD...I am NOT judging Adam by his guyliner! I haven't judged the kid at all. Seriously, I respect that he took the show to a whole new level. I enjoyed watching as he did it! Also, I never said I thought Kris Allen was a better singer or performer. He's not, and I find his facial expressions absolutely painful to watch. I just said, while I appreciate Adam's gifted artistry, it doesn't draw me in as far as music goes. None of them really drew me in this season.

Snarky Mama wants me to be clear that she loves Adam for Adam, not for who he reminds her of. And look, I had no idea there was some WHACKED OUT "Christian movement" on behalf of Kris. I find that disgusting and just plain STUPID. I don't care if Adam is straight, gay, or goes both ways. I don't care is Kris is straight, gay, or goes both ways. I watch AI for entertainment purposes only. I don't watch in hopes of finding my kids' next role model. So, I'm sorry Snarky Mama if some people didn't vote for your precious Adam based on their self-righteous judgements. But, don't throw me in that camp. If I had known that was happening, I probably would've voted for him just to spite the "movement". So there. And get this, Snarky Mama says I'm in "Adam denial". What? She says I'm the one with the problem. I'm beginning to think we both need help!