Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This Post is Entirely Too Long

Hmmmm, I don't quite know where to begin.
I guess I'll just start with this:

I can't wait to read your blogs and get all caught up!

So much has happened, and I'm pretty sure that this post will be full of scattered ramblings. I hope you can forgive me. I had this grand plan of journaling the move in chronological order, but that may not be the way it happens. When something pops into my mind, I'm just going to type it asap so as not to forget things.

Only one of us had a meltdown during the entire move. You may be thinking: "Sweet little Princie, bless her heart." Nope, not her.....ME! On the day the packers showed up at our house, I thought things were going well. We had no idea
there was some tension between the workers, the supervisor stopped by, and long story short....two of the three packers ended up walking out in the middle of the job. Oh well, no big deal, two others showed up, things got packed, and we were ready for the movers to come and load the truck the next morning.

Next morning at 8:30ish, my cell phone rang. The guy driving the moving van couldn't find us. He and his coworkers were about 20 minutes away at a truck stop, wanting to know if we could drive to where they were, so they could follow us to our house! I suggested just telling them how to get to us from the truck stop, but the guy said no because he wasn't sure exactly where he was. What the @*#*?? Right now, it makes me laugh. But at the time, going on practically no sleep, and knowing that after everything was loaded on the van, we still had to clean the house immaculately, load our cars, and drive for hours...well, it sent me over the edge! If these guys couldn't find my house when they were 20 minutes away, how in the world were they going to find their way to Georgia?!? Ever the calm and collected type, the Captain set out to track down the movers and lead them to our home. He felt certain none of this was cause for concern.

Turns out, he was right. No matter that they couldn't find our house. No matter that the driver, Mr. Samuel, was somewhere in the neighborhood of 85 years old. One of Mr. Samuel's associates, Mr. Charles, was close to 70 and the others were (compared to Samuel and Charles) whippersnappers. No matter that every 45-60 minutes each one of them stopped to take a smoke break. They got the job done, and even though we left Maryland several hours later than we had hoped, it was all ok. (Just a small sidenote...I don't have much advice for moving, even though I feel like based on the number of times we've done this, we've reached expert status. The only piece of advice I have is this: keep your movers happy. We always make sure they have a cooler full of Gatorade and water. And, we feed them lunch. They like it. It makes them feel appreciated. I was shocked as they shared stories of how horribly some people treat them. Probably people like me who have no calm, collected Captain to talk them down when movers can't find their house!)

So, we made it to Georgia to close on our house with exactly 12 minutes to spare. We rolled into that closing looking like a bunch of hobos. Nobody cared....seriously, they just wanted our cash.

Now, to the house. I can't even express how much all five of us love this home. I feel like Goldilocks when she finds the porridge, chair, bed, etc. that is "just right". We are finally home, that's the only way I can describe this! We have spent so many years crammed into places that weren't a good fit for us. But this home? It fits. It's not too big or too's just right. The first night, I was up at two in the morning, just roaming around and taking it all in.

The first week, we all slept on the floor in the master bedroom. Our food came from the coolers because we hadn't purchased a fridge. We ate picnic style since we sold our dining set before we left Maryland. We had no t.v., no computers. It made for fun memories. Good times. After a week, we got the call from Mr. Samuel and Mr. Charles...yep, they had made it and were in the WalMart parking lot. Could I please drive there, and lead the way to our house? Of course I could...and this time, no meltdown.

We are still getting settled. That always takes longer than expected. It took me three days just to organize the kitchen. I've never had so much cabinet space, so much drawer space. For the first time in sixteen years, I was able to unpack all of my dishes, etc. The kids have had a great time unpacking their rooms and organizing their things, along with spending time at the neighborhood pool. So much fun! They seem to be adjusting well, and enjoying this move. They say it's "awesome" here.

We'll see how things go when school starts, but so far we absolutely love it. In fact, there has been talk of staying here after our Army commitment is fulfilled. This town has the feel of the South that I love and have missed dearly, without the racial tension I've felt in other Southern places. That brings peace to my soul.
I'd pick this part of Georgia over Mississippi any day. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and she mentioned that in Mississippi she actually feels anxious when she orders white American cheese at the deli. I laughed at first, but she wasn't joking. It's sad. She really gets nervous, and feels a little guilty! Over cheese people! Why? Because in Mississippi, most things associated with being white are (not always, but quite often) viewed negatively and with great disdain by others. So, it's been wonderful to be in a place where we don't feel any of that. Wonderful! I can order any kind of cheese and not feel bad about it.

Also, the weather in Georgia suits me well....hotter and definitely more humid than Maryland, but less hot and humid than Mississippi (which leaves you feeling as though you are actually suffocating, the air is so thick and stifling).

Best of all, the people here are so friendly! The first week, it took us by surprise more often than not. Cashiers in stores? Smiling and happy to help. No crappy attitudes. No treating you like it's a pain in their behind that you had the nerve to shop during their shift. Waiters and waitresses? Actually earning their tips, and hoping your dining experience is enjoyable. (We've been here for two weeks, and only one time have we encountered an unpleasant attitude.) Sometimes it's just baffling. A few days ago, I was in the WalMart parking lot loading bags into my car. It was raining. A man walked up, and just started taking bags out of the cart, and putting them into my car. I looked at him like he was crazy, and stepped back. He said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought you could use some help, especially since it's raining." It was clear he felt badly for startling me. I explained, "Look, I just moved here from a town close to Baltimore. Dude, you almost got yourself a kick in the groin." I am working on letting my guard down, not too much, but just enough that I don't attack innocent strangers. Luckily, the guy that runs the convenience store down the street from our neighborhood told me the next time I come in, he'll flip me off and cuss me out so I feel more at ease.

Thank you all for your prayers and good vibes. We have felt them. It has not escaped us, the fact that we haven't felt completely exhausted and overwhelmed. I know your thoughts and prayers have strengthened us. Thank you. I can say this has been the least stressful move I've experienced. I count myself and my family blessed beyond measure. It's almost unbelievable when so many years of hard work finally come to fruition. My heart is full of gratitude for my Father in Heaven, my husband, my children, and all those who've supported us throughout our, old friends, and new friends as well.

I guess that sums up the move. We are happy and enjoying getting settled. Again, we'll see how things go when school starts. But, for now, it looks like this could be home for a very long time.

During my blog absence, the Captain had his 40th birthday! And yesterday, we celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary! On Friday (hopefully Friday, but if not then over the weekend) I'll be sharing a poem that was written just for him. A while back, I won a giveaway from my dear blogging friend Sue. Check out her blog here, and her poetry site here. She's a gifted lady and I'm so excited to share the special poem she wrote for my man with all of you!

Now, to wrap up this rambling post, I have a few miscellaneous thoughts that have been on my mind during the move. The last few are, of course, political. So, if that's not what you care to read, stop after #1. What? Surely you didn't think I'd miraculously turn non-political on you?

1.) I had a lot of great "thinking" time while driving from Maryland to Georgia. I thought a lot about why I'm consumed with my weight and flabbiness. Would you believe it's been two years since I put on a swimsuit? Two years! My kids and the Captain swim a lot. I just sit by the pool and read. I came to a very strange conclusion! This is going to sound so ridiculous, but here goes anyway: I obsess about it because I think I should. Because surely a person with this much flab can't feel good about herself, right? I'm carrying an extra 15 pounds, and every ounce of those pounds is flabby and gushy. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to gain 15 pounds every two years. I want to be healthy and live a long life. But, the weirdest thing has happened...I've decided I'm fine with who I am. I'm fine with the flab and gushiness. I don't love it, and I know I need some work, but no more obsessing about it. No more negative, consuming thoughts about myself. Thoughts that have come to me because I made the poor choice to listen and believe when "society" (a society that I readily admit is flawed in most of its thinking) bombarded me with messages and images hinting that my flabby 15 make me "less than" someone who has a perfect body. Why do we listen? I'm beyond tired of worrying about everything I put in my mouth. Also, I realized I've been avoiding working out because I don't want to commit to one more thing that I HAVE to do for the rest of my life. I just don't, the thought overwhelms me. So my perspective has changed. I'm going to shoot for exercising three times a week for 40 minutes. If I eventually get hooked, fine. If not, fine. I'll just put in my three times a week so that my health improves and is maintained...and to keep from gaining more weight each year. But, not so I can look like the jacked up image in my head or to look like some celebrity who gets paid to work out. I'll do it so I can feel good and be healthy. I've actually been dreading going to Mississippi for a visit because I've gained 15 pounds since I was last there. But again, a switch was flipped over the course of my driving/thinking time. I'm not going to worry about it anymore. If people want to gossip about how I've gained weight, or that I'm beginning to show my 36 years and 7 months...well, I should just feel sorry for them, given that's the most interesting thing they have to discuss. I'm going to take my kids swimming and enjoy it! I'm going to put on that swimsuit, flabby arms, belly and all. I've come to understand that my perception was seriously warped. I'm healthy. It's very true... I don't look like the girl from years ago. I don't look like her on the outside and certainly not on the inside. I couldn't be happier about that.

2.) I was sad to hear the news about Michael Jackson. Because we were without tv and computers, I read a blurb about it on my Blackberry. We missed the memorial service and the nonstop news coverage, which didn't make me sad. Although he began to creep me out in recent years, I will always regard Michael Jackson as one of the world's greatest entertainers. I believe he was a musical genius. I also think he was a tortured soul. More often than not, I felt sorry for him. That said, I was more than a little disturbed to hear that Congress actually held a moment of silence in his honor. Do our "leaders" do the same for each and every soldier killed in wars they have approved and funded? If they do, I've never heard about it. Please let me know if I am mistaken. If they do not hold moments of silence for every single soldier whose life is taken on a battlefield or due to the traumatic effects of war, then shame on them. And it sickens me to think they would do so for a celebrity.

3.) I don't care that Sarah Palin resigned, but of course I have some thoughts on it. I think it confirms what many of us already knew. She was nowhere close to being ready for the office of President. I guess she would've been ok working in McCain's shadow as VP, but President material...NO way! I'm sure some will accuse me of judging her and her decisions. That isn't my intent. I have the right to judge no one. I'm simply noting that if she couldn't stand the pressure, it's a darn good thing she wasn't elected. And, I can promise you this...she'll never get my vote for anything. She has shown me she really isn't a "Maverick". Mavericks don't quit when thousands of people have elected them to do a job. Mavericks don't quit when they commit to fulfill certain responsibilities. Honestly, I can't say that I blame her. I can't imagine the stress and strain her family has endured. But then, I've also not made the commitments she made. I guess I'm just skeptical of the reasons she gives for throwing in the towel. No one will ever convince me she's doing it strictly for the good of Alaska. And, if it's really about family, I'm just wondering how an intelligent woman and mother could have ever made such career choices and not anticipated the stress and attacks from media, etc. Surely, at some point she weighed the chances and the risks. Apparently, she and her husband decided the chances for political success were worth the risk. She took the chances, and she can't blame that on harsh critics and media. Also, if it's all about stepping away in an effort to protect Alaska and her family, then why is she still running her mouth about any and everything?

4.) During more of my driving/thinking time I came to a better understanding of liberal thought. Now, this is just my take on it, and I'm sure my liberal leaning friends will be more than happy to correct me. It seems that some liberals believe they are the only ones who care about helping those who are in need and/or are suffering. My thought was confirmed this morning as I listened to Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation hearing. She was asked if she feels she has "generally liberal instincts". Now, before I go any further, I have to say I believe that was a stupid question. It's pretty evident she has liberal instincts. I say fine. I've never taken issue with liberal vs. conservative instincts, as long as neither is extreme. In fact, I've often expressed that my instincts lean toward a kind of liberal conservatism, as opposed to strict conservatism. Today, Sotomayor summed up my gut level issue with strict liberal thinking when she answered the question about "generally liberal instincts" with this statement: "you could talk about that (referring to her work with the Puerto Rico Legal Defense and Education Fund) being a liberal instinct in the sense that I promote equal opportunity in America and the attempts to assure that." That reply did not sit well with me at all. I whole-heartedly reject the notion that promoting equal opportunity in America is strictly a liberal instinct. Frankly, it disgusts me that she would even insinuate such nonsense. And that, my friends, is the issue I have with people who think like Sotomayor. In my opinion (and no one will change this opinion so don't even bother trying), thoughts and statements such as hers only add to the problems we face. To insinuate that conservative instincts would not allow for promotion of equal opportunity in this country is appalling. My instincts could possibly be considered more conservative by some people, and I want equal opportunities for people in this country just as much as anyone else. I have big plans and ideas for beginning organizations and foundations strictly for that purpose. I just need the money to do it...that's one reason we work around here. And I certainly do not appreciate Sotomayor insinuating that because I am conservative, I don't care as much as she does. That because she is a Latina and overcame obstacles she is somehow more compassionate and caring than I am...because I couldn't possibly understand the struggles of others, could I? That thinking makes me ill. People who think as Sotomayor does are judgemental. They look at people like me and because I am currently happy, healthy, live in a comfortable home with a loving husband who has a good job, and have three healthy children in my home, they make judgements that our life has been a walk in the park.
I would enjoy the opportunity to tell Sotomayor, and others who unfairly judge as she does, that she doesn't know me. She has no idea what I have overcome, and I don't just mean with the loss of my child. She can't possibly know what others have faced. Does she think she's the only person who had a tough childhood? That only minorities have obstacles in their way? That only minorities suffer injustices and sorrow? That's absurd. There are too many children in this country with challenges, too many children suffering and they aren't minorities. Does that make them any less important? I believe to people like Sotomayor, it does.

And while I'm on this topic, let me just state that I know many white males who have overcome great odds and have worked hard to reach their goals, with NO help from anyone! Men who were just as poor as Sotomayor, whose mothers were widows, who were abused, ignored, hungry, cold. I reject the notion that they count less because they are white males. It would be nice if this country could stop blaming conservative white males for all the world's ailing and failings. The extreme liberal thinking that conservative white males are the root of all evil and that they don't care about minorities, that they don't care about those in need...such misguided thinking serves no one. Most of the conservative white males I know give readily of their time and money. They choose to do it outside of the limelight, without heralding and praise from others. They quietly go about life taking care of their families and communities. I don't know one white male who has a group advocating for them. You say they don't need one, because they always get what they want. False. I know white males who have lost opportunities strictly because of their skin color. I know them personally. I honestly thought, after our most recent Presidential election, this nation was moving toward healing and being color blind. This nation will never be color blind. Not with people thinking as Sotomayor does. Not with the persistent demonizing of conservatives and whites by powerful leaders.

Ahhhh, it feels good to be back. Sorry if you disagree. ;)


jen said...

Ahh. To be the first to greet you on your long-anticipated return.
We've missed you.
All the politics since you've been gone . . . how have you managed it? As always, interesting insights. Brad felt the same way about liberals when he was in law school.
Your ramblings on weight could not have hit me on a better day. I just outgrew my first maternity shirt yesterday, and even though it is very different to be pregnant and gaining, it's still a mental struggle. Thanks. And I think I'll head out to the pool with my boys.
Glad you're back. And glad you're happy in GA.

La Yen said...

Glad to have you back, and that you made it safe and sound!

KC Mom said...

I just love you.
It's good to have you back.

Amy said...

I love that you are back, and that you are still as wonderful as ever with sharing your opinions. I love having the opportunity to see others views and opinions, and their thoughts often help me shape my own. I am not saying I follow everything I am told, I am saying I love hearing different sides of every story, and from that I can make an informed opinion. So happy you are back!

SnarkyMama said...

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! She's back....Oh happy day! :)
My little southern "Snarky" belle has finally come home!

p.s. your whole body still does not weigh as much as one of my legs! (and you so know I can rock me a bathing suit, if I wanna...I don't even care who's looking...!) :):):)

Sue said...

Great to see you back at the Snarky Belle ranch. And I'm glad you love Georgia already!

As for your political opinions, yes, Yes, and YES (with a special emphasis on the white male issue). I happen to be the mother of a particular one of that species...who works night and day (quite literally) knowing that he has to get straight A's, publish a paper in a medical journal, volunteer in a hospital, and get ridiculous mcat scores to get into a decent medical school. And all because he's a white male. It's pretty crazy.

Laretha said...

Oh man! I haven't even started to read your post. I had to go straight to comments and tell you I MISSED YOU!!!!!

Now I read...

Laretha said...

Okay, so great to read your stuff again!

Dude, you almost got yourself a kick in the groin." Oh my gosh, I laughed, I cried, I snorted! So funny!

I am so glad everything with the move went well. I was praying for you and thinking about you and wanting to hug you...still want to hug you...

One thing I love about blogging is you get to "see" peoples heart and not their body. You are beautiful for who you are.

Sarah...THANK YOU! I need to do a post on her but I completely agree with you. I took some heat from some of my girlfriends when I said she isn't President material. I don't believe Obama is qualified to be our Prez either but I didn't vote for him nor do I believe she is qualified. VP is a different story and I wouldn't have issue with that...however, if she doesn't stay her post as governor I can't trust her to stay her post as the leader of the free world.

Sotomayor - AGREED and DITTO!

So glad you're back!

Karen said...

So Glad you are back! Glad your move went well. Want pictures of your new house. Totally agree about the 'white male' thing. Am appalled that people compare their suffering and always seem to be the most abused and come out on top the best...what are they thinking?! I truly believe every single person has or will have terrible struggles as well as great times. Why do we compare instead of empathize, help (if we can) and move on.

Great to have you back and I am so glad it was a lenghty post - very satisfying (why can't you spell check your comments?)


PS - I can't believe the Amish Jen is the first to post - I may rat her out to her kids!

Michelle said...

Yay! Happy to have you back!!! Glad to hear you're loving GA. I wouldn't mind settling there myself.
And I love your ramblings, snarky and all. How come I always agree with you? :)

em said...

OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!!!! i ate this post alive, like misquitoes on a warm summer night! i'm so impressed with how you've been able to remember all of those topics. i always forget what i want to write about by the time i sit down to write. sigh. i'm so glad things are settling in georgia.

i would have been caught totally off guard with the groceries too, seeing how i live in my cousin's basement and they hardly help me with my groceries down to the basement! ok, sometimes they do, i'm just would catch me off guard! i've always wanted to live in georgia. there was this totally sleezy show on the WB when i was in middle school, called "savannah" i think. there was this really beautiful skinny blonde girl who lived in this gorgeous white plantation house with a big willow tree, amazingly hot fiance (who cheated on her with her best friend, see very sleezy, i told you), rich daddy (b/c they aren't "dad's" or "father's" there, they're "daddy's", this hastey generalization of course being purely influenced by cable tv, car to die for, blah, blah, anyways, it made me want to live in georgia. it made me think georgia was magical. then i realized it was hot and humid. i've decided to just dream of living there and not really pursue it. i'm more of a fog and rain person in those aspects. flip flops and sweatshirts. ahhh, so lovely.

weight. i hate how the media influences weight. especially with women. i too started my obsessions feeling like i "had to" worry about it. 10 years later, an eating disorder, and some seriously MESSED UP body image, i'm finally in a good place. hoping i don't ever go back. praying that i will have the strength to remember these feelings of empowerment against what is "defined" for women, even if i'm not skinny. there's a song i love and one line says, "everything's cool as long as i'm gettin' thinner." funny b/c after nursing an entire year i was pretty dang thin. thinner than swim team in high school. almost, haha. anyway, i couldn't imagine ever feeling like i would deal with those crazy thoughts about weight ever again. although, that would be foolish to believe NEVER. so one day at a time i remind myself of the positive thoughts and feelings of health and happiness. what's important in my life. what really matters. every time i have a thought that i might not be the image the media finds attractive. i've found that by cultivating new talents i am more enriched and start to feel AMAZING about my self, inside and out. so if i'm feeling badly about myself, it's off to cultivate a new talent. try a new recipe, attempt something i've always wanted to learn. then i always feel much better:-) funny how that helps;-) sorry this is so long, oh dear!!! love and missed you! glad you're back.

Mama Duck said...

Oh your post just made me cry tears of joy!! WELCOME HOME SWEETHEART!! So good to have you back blogging again ~ I sure missed you!

little jill said...

aaahhh the south.
I want to be southern. I want my son to have southern manners. My dad is from the South so I am use to a man standing when someone walks in the door, an taking their hat off, and saying sir and mam. you're a lucky duck. And i love Georgia. Maybe someday we'll come visit.


sounds good

And as for the weight thing. Heck ya. I have been on a mission to bring back the vintage figure for years. Soft and curvy baby. That's hot.

I want to see pictures of your new house. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I redid my house when we moved in two years ago, and never posted them. But hopefully I'll do it soon. it's fun to see how people live.

In my head your house is a very homey southern house on the outside, with a big green lawn---is that how it looks?

Ok, I'm rambling. Glad all is well.

little jill said...

P.s. Definitely go swimming with your kids. My mom did when I was really little, and then she gained weight and stopped. And I always remember that she never swam with us, so I always thought that women stopped swimming at a certain age. That's lame. Go swimming.

Rachel T. said...

Awwww im so glad you made it safe and sound. The south has breathed a sign of relief to have you back. We have missed you, glad to know that you are still you!

Barbara said...

I missed you!

So glad the move went well.


Fiauna said...

Oh, I've missed you! I'm so glad you are all happy in your new home.

As to the things you've been pondering during your blog break: Amen to all of it. You have a knack for summing it all up. Way to go.

Jess said...

Hooray for the nice south! Where manners and courtesy reign, especially when you don't have the racial tensions going on.

Can't tell you how inspiring it was to read that someone else really does think crazy thoughts like I do- concerning the whole weight and body image thing- and has found a way to be happy in spite of the excess. I really admire your bravery.

karen said...

Welcome back! So glad the move went well, and the kiddies are happy. And you sound happy - like you've come home at last. On all the issues - agree with you totally. I totally enjoyed the rant, because you put into words exactly what I'm thinking. Congratulations on your 16 years with the Captain - how wonderful is that? And I'm glad you're not obsessing the weight. I do that too, but I suddenly realized how much fun I'd miss out on with the grandkids if I didn't stop being silly. I'm 56 - why should I even half-way expect to look like I'm 26? Women are so hard on themselves. Again - WELCOME BACK!

I am LoW said...

Welcome back! And welcome to Georgia! :)

Funny, I just visited DC and I couldn't believe how friendly everyone was there!! Honest to goodness, super friendly from the metro to walking the streets. :)

Shauna said...

Glad to have you back and I am so glad that you love your new home and that your happy there. We missed you. Amen on the weight thing...why do we spend so much time worrying about it, and what everyone else thinks. It is silly and what really matters is the memories your kids will have with you swimming. Why do we care what others think anyway. I think about all the time I have wasted worrying about my weight. I think as women who are mothers to daughters we need to take it upon ourselves to have confidence and be proud of who we are. It is important to be healthy, but not look like a cover model. Dive in girl and enjoy you new life in Georgia. Love ya

The Asquad said...

just found your blog, i'm glad to hear that your move is over! i hope to get to know you more by checking in more often.

MammaWarrior said...

I love reading your posts! I am thrilled to have you back!! I love Georgia! The only place I know where you can drive down the road and everyone waves. Friendly, down home. Maybe I will travel that way now that my life has been opened to many possibilities! Thank you for stopping by and remembering me and my family in your thoughts and prayers! I do feel you close to my heart! Thank you! ((hugs)) J.

Lori said...

Glad to hear that you are back and settling in well there in Georgia. Hopefully we can get together when we are in town in October.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Welcome back my snarky friend...I'm so glad the move went well and that you are settling in.

Missed you, girl...

fung family said...

Hey girl! I'm so glad you made it to Georgia safe and sound. Now, I think you are about an hour away from Lexington, SC. I would love to see you all. We have family in Atlanta but we are currently not on speaking terms, long story. Anyway, we should get together for lunch after the kids get off to school-- Yay! Talk to you soon!