Thursday, June 4, 2009

Please Tell Me We Get an "A" for Effort

This is how scripture study and family prayer goes down at our house:

Last night, I sat on the couch next to Eleven Year Old. Immediately, Princie wanted to sit in my lap. This child NEVER wants to sit in my lap. But, seeing me cuddled on the couch with Eleven Year Old brought Princie close to panic as she squealed that she "does better" in someone's lap.

Kindly, Seven Year Old offered his lap. (This could easily be noted as mistake #1 of scripture study time) Princie hopped in his lap and proceeded to chop at Seven Year Old's legs with her "kawate hands". We told her to stop, she did (for the time being), and The Captain started reading.

The main topic of the passage was fasting. So, we took a moment to make sure Princie (since she is only 5) understood what it means to fast. I am certain Seven Year Old totally gets it because, well...he's seven. This is not a concept unfamiliar to him. And, he will be baptized in August, so surely he knows what we're talking about. Really, he knows!

Anyway, The Captain paused and I explained fasting in terms suited for young children. Seven Year Old was clearly not captivated, and had much more important things on his mind (important things like why Obama gets to use a teleprompter for speeches, but when Eleven Year Old gives his speech at the 5th grade's Simulated Congressional Hearings, he won't get to use a teleprompter...yep, that's right....scripture study wasn't on Seven Year Old's mind, but teleprompters rank top notch!)

So, we continued plugging along. No amount of interrupting, "kawate" chopping of knees and legs, laughing, etc. could stop us. We have a job to do, and darn it all, we WILL prevail! (Here I would like to mention that Snarky Mama was in attendance as she is here for a visit. Did she help you ask? That would be a NO, she just sat back in the recliner and enjoyed the show, relishing the moment.)

After reading, and several explanations of fasting, the rest of our time went like this:

The Captain: Princie, what did you learn tonight?
Princie: No talking during scriptures.

Me: Seven Year Old, why do we fast?
Seven Year Old: Because the food might be poisonous.
Me: Oh come on, I just told you 50 times why we fast.
Seven Year Old: Maybe the bad person put poison in your food, so don't eat it.

Let's try that again, I think to myself.

Me: When we fast, we save the money that we would have spent on our food, and we give it to others who need food.
Seven Year Old: Soooo, we're losing money, not saving money. We lose money when we fast.

Ok, count me as D-O-N-E, DONE!

The Captain to Snarky Mama: Nana, what did you learn tonight?
Eleven Year Old: That she never wants to have scripture study with us again.

The Captain: Everybody kneel down for prayer, please. Princie would you say the prayer for us?
Princie says the prayer.
After the amens, Seven Year Old begins to clap.
The Captain: Hey buddy, thanks for being nice to your sister, but we want to be reverent and we don't really clap after prayers.
Seven Year Old: Well, why not? She's good at it.

Okay then. See you tomorrow night...same time, same place.


La Yen said...

I am SO glad it is not just my family!

Mama Duck said...

I LOVE IT!! An "A" for effort and an "A+" for the fun glimpse into your family!!!

KC Mom said...

That was an enjoyable image of your family! Just know, that some of that is getting through to them, even if it's just tiny amounts. Not to mention, it's the habit that you are setting that matters. When their teenagers, they'll already know the drill and won't be giving you such a hard time about family scriptures and prayer!

SnarkyMama said...

"relishing the moment" would be an understatement....seriously, does Snarky think it was much different when it was the two little brothers and "miss prissy" herself?

I thoroughly "enjoyed the show"...didn't cost me a penny and quite entertaining....ahhhhhhh, sweet justice...who ever said "pay back is heck" must have been a mom!!!

I'll be waiting for the sequel...hey, Snarky could you bring the popcorn and diet coke!!!

I am sooooooo having fun!!!

jen said...

Just like our housen but add three surly teenagers and two toddlers. At least we had no audience

Kerry said...


Kerry said...


Carly said...

Uh, that would be a big A for effort. It counts if you try. Like the time I had my dad draw a life-size Goliath poster for Sunbeam class, and the sunbeams got him confused with Joseph Smith (I don't know how, he wasn't in the lesson), and they further confused "Daniel" with "David," so when one of the parents came and asked what they learned, a kid pointed at Daniel and yelled "That guy slayed Joseph Smith with a rock!!!"
I am so not kidding. Effort counts double when it involves children.

Sue said...

I found FHE at my grandchildren's home very entertaining as well. And I'm afraid I didn't "help" either.

Just sat in my chair and beamed...and remembered.


jan said...

I feel your pain. Our family scripture study is frequently interrupted with reminders that we don't play with toys, poke each other or break out into song (you've got to know my little girl!)while we're reading. But I agree with everyone else--it's creating habits in your family, regardless of the train wreck it becomes on some nights. I had a babysitter tell me that my kids made her read scriptures with them before they would go to bed! I don't know if they really thought it was that important or if they we're just stalling...

K2cole said...

KC Mom is dreaming - Let me give you a snapshot of scriptures with 3 teenagers (and 2 dogs). We wake up and have scripture study at 7am (teens are not always home when I go to bed!) Sometimes Dad is still in the shower (yes, he set the time for this activity) so we wait. Gather at the table - couches provide to soft a seat, If your dish day was yesterday you pray, if your dish day is today you read (yes, a sneaky way to remind Dad when his dish day is) we spend the next 15-20 mins waking up teen #2 and jabbing Dad who is dozing also. Teen #3 is eating a bowl of cereal before breakfast just to take the edge off. When we explain a term or use the extras included in the big family editions - we mostly stay on topic, well kinda, as long as teen #1 is in the middle of the other two or else wrestling ensues which is followed by stern lectures about behavior at scripture study!! All this while 2 dogs are vying for attention under the table.

You get a AA+++

PS- it is SO worth it! My kids are so much more willing and peaceful when we are faithful in this endeavor!

Frosty said...

Absolutely an "A" on my grade scale. I adore the seven year old's perspective of fasting. Sounds a lot like scripture time at our house.

Instead of "kawate chops" there would be "not touching you" being said from one child having his/her pointer finger inches from another child's face. And if one of the boys has a body function's all over! (Why do they think it is so darn hilarious?!)

After the insight on your reading time, it makes me feel like my family isn't alone. :)

em said...

i'm giggling. really. one b/c i love the way you wrote this post to have me smiling the entire time, two b/c the pork loin climbs all over whoever is reading the scriptures the entire time, and three b/c i love that your mom just lovingly let the dominoes fall where they may;-)

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

That's just funny. :)

karen said...

For some reason, it just gives me comfort to find out your family is so "normal" - in this instance, anyway. I had a good laugh. Keep plugging away. One fine day, you'll realize they "get it."

Jill said...

I just tell myself that someday I'm going to miss this.

Lindsay said...

Sounds like a lot of fun!
Hey, At least you get them all together in the same room. I'd say you earned an A. Thanks for giving us a peek into your family. :)
Love Linds

Shauna said...

Seriously that is some funny stuff. I am with Snarky Momma, serve up some diet coke and popcorn...I am there. My fav is the clapping after the prayer.

Rachel T. said...

LOL That is priceless! Thanks for the great picture painted! I wish I could have been there, but the I can pretty much picture it in my mind. We have had tons of scripture studies like that in my life time that's for sure. But most definitely an A for effort!

La Yen said...

Tonight at scriptures Jooj screamed at me "Jesus doesn't like it when you talk scriptures to me!!!!!"

fung family said...

That's pretty funny. I think you get A's for trying! One day as I was dragging two kids into Sam's club for stuff I had to get an older lady was loading her things into her car and she said to me, "you know your children are your mothers' revenge" . Ahhhh truer words were never spoken;) Can't wait for you to move to Georgia -- Augusta, right? Let's do lunch!!

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

An A for effort indeed!!! Keep on keeping on...I can so relate. Add an eye-rolling heavy-sighing teenager and wiggly eight year old to the mix for me!

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

P.S....That Snarky Mama of yours really is snarky! I just read her comment.

Lori said...

Thank you for sharing that and for lifting my spirit! It brought back some wonderful memories for me.